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Well, when a brilliant idea hits you it hits you good. Todays epiphany is that the pope should be picked in an entirely different fashion. Instead of spending time in the vatican in surroundings that are comfortable we should take a cue from reality television. We should get Mark Burnette, the producer of Survivor, and create a reality TV show where “contestants” vie for the ultimate title of Survivor (and they also get to be the next pope). I dont think we could get them to do a bunch of physical challenges but the thought of them fighting through mud and grime while in their cardinal robes would be… funny. They would still have to eat some weird crap because… its amusing for everyone that is watching. I’m sure the ratings would be through the roof because they are millions out there that are part of the catholic church. Each episode they would vote out the one that they didn’t like and they would also have immunity challenges that would make people exempt from the vote. To knock down the number the cardinals could be divided into a few groups in a initial massive contest and entire groups would be knocked out if they didnt beat the others (it would make the show much quicker). Beating 114 other cardinals on a weekly basis.. would take quite a long time to do. I dont think we should take a cue from british television and show their actions on a 24 hour basis… just the best tidbits would be enough to keep the audience attached to their screens. The bookmakers in Vegas could have a blast with this one as millions bet on who will be the one and only survivor….

Hmm… as and idea for a sample contest the candidates could try to perform as many communions in an alloted amount of time… Or maybe games where they would be required to memorize the entire bible… verbatim… in Latin; the bonus round could be in aramaic.

I’m sure that if television can put crappy shows like Friends or Baywatch on tv that this one should definitely make it.

Of course, the alternative is to take yet another cue from American television and have a beauty pageant style contest. They could have the all important swimsuit contest and the talent contest. I wonder what a cardinal would look like while juggling flaming sticks… I’m sure it would interesting… even more intersting if the garments are highly flammable.

edit: this is just a rough running draft of my ideas.. I’ll try to put something together that is much better… Who knows, maybe I can sell it to the catholic church for future popes.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 19th, 2005 at 3:41 am and is filed under I was too lazy to organize these. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.