Conversation topics can be far ranging when working with a diverse group of people that are brought to one location from across the globe. A few days ago, we discussed how parents are discouraged from using physical means to keep their children in line. The days when you can spank your OWN child for acting a fool might be behind us if we don’t do something to turn the tide. There was a proposal in a California city (of all places) to punish parents who spank their children.
One person spoke of a time when her child was acting a fool - she swatted him once on the behind to keep him in line. Family members present at the incident chastised the individual and claimed that it was abuse.
Another individual spoke about children carrying on in public places with exasperated parents doing nothing to quell the noise.
A few days ago a child shot and killed another for throwing a snowball at him that struck him in the face.
Extreme violence among children seems to be rising - what ever happened to children that knew right from wrong?
When I did something foolish as I child I was spanked, thumped, or reminded that I could be spanked or thumped at any moment. I needed corrective action to ensure that I wasn’t acting like a fool in public or at home. Every time that I did something foolish that warranted punishment - I ended up getting what I deserved. The memory is probably more lore than truth but I remember my Grandma King and her ability to thump my ears. She almost had a premonition when I was going to act inappropriately - she did have practice - she had my dad and his brothers. In my memory its almost as if she could move her fingers faster than the speed of sound in order to get them to strike my ears at maximum velocity. I was sure she was trying to remove my ear from the side of my head - but, I was getting what I deserved.
I always wanted to push the limits to see what I could get away with - I quickly found out that I wasn’t as smart as she was and she wasn’t going to let me get away with anything. The kicker to the deal was that I knew that she still loved me - I knew my parents still loved me - I knew that I this was the reaction to my actions.
People in my generation are probably the last that saw punishment of this sort - and there is nothing wrong with my generation. What happened to parents to make them think that they shouldn’t do everything in their power to keep their kids in line? Aren’t we helping out children by giving them a physical reminder of what happens when we do what is wrong? Aren’t we supposed to teach them about consequences for their actions?
We are raising a generation of people that think they can get away with anything. Courts routinely hear defenses that blame fault on another person - nobody wants to take responsibility for their own actions. What in the world is going on today?
Needless to say, if I ever have kids, I’ll have them help make a paddle - they’ll walk by it on a daily basis and remember how much it hurts. They’ll make the connection that stupidity = pain. Stupidity should be avoided at all costs. They’ll know that I love them and that there will be some short term pain. Hopefully they can use that pain and convert it into a long term gain - a gain that will keep them on the right path for the rest of their lives.
Tags: opinion
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March 1st, 2008 at 12:00 am
I assure you swatting is alive and well in this house! MANY conversations with 2.5yo: “Quit doing X or you’ll get a spanking. Do you need a spanking?” “No!” “So can you be good?” “Yes! Good!” “OK. Thanks for calming down. Good job.”
Obviously someone should send in the police for… successfully imparting some seed of ‘consequences’ and ’self control’ in a toddler? Good grief. There’s plenty of people in jail today because can’t even manage that much.
There’s a time and place for other methods, and real nutters can get carried away with almost anything, but I don’t think it’s right for the government to limit what parents can do- especially where a child’s survival may be at stake. Ever tried to explain the physics of car crashes to a 2yo that’s wiggling out of a carseat while you’re driving? Rotsa ruck.
March 2nd, 2008 at 9:53 am
I saw on the news that for the first time in our nation’s history, 1 of 10 Americans is in jail. 1 of 10, thankfully not from my nieghborhood, but appauling none the less. I’ve got to wonder, since so many are of my generation and of the one we raised, how many were raised by the Dr. Spock method, which I understand didn’t work out so well for his son either.
As a nation, when we started sending our kids to their room, we showed them prison isn’t so bad, there’s a bed and a TV right? On the other hand, I know some kids that grew up to be adults I’m proud to know, and believe me, when they needed it, they got a spanking.
Oh, yeah, regarding the previous comment, a well timed stomp on the brakes introduces childern to Newton’s basic laws of physics.