Defiantone.com

Well, I’m halfway home and I’m trying to type this out on a keyboard that was made for germans… das ist nicht so gut.

I’m in Leipzig at the moment and I’ve only got a 8 hour flight ahead of me before I get to my connecting flights in the states. All in all, I’ve had over 36 hours of delays while I have tried to make my way home. The delays ate up my free time in Baltimore but its no big deal - I’m going to get home soon.

I wrote about my last experience with Nextel thinking that it couldn’t get much worse. Boy - was I wrong!

I called Nextel again and asked to speak to the government account services. I was transfered to customer service elevator music waiting line - I spent 23 minutes on hold before I was disconnected.

I called again and asked for the government account services - the agent on the other end of the line inquired why and I told him that I planned to cancel my account. He immediately retorted that “you’ll be charged with a $200 cancellation fee because your account is valid till Jan 08″ and I explained that I was in the military and that I would be canceling my account in accordance with the military clause. He was disappointed that he couldn’t use fear to make me continue using their service. He was summarily rude from that point on and he placed me on hold for 32 minutes while I waited to be transfered. He came back once or twice, probably hoping that I had hung up the phone in disgust. I was not going to give up on this one - no way in hell.

Eventually I was connected to the correct department and I explained the situation and told her that I had reference numbers for my previous conversations. She wasn’t interested and told me that she would have to look up my account history. It was at this point that she began to lie to me. I wanted to scream “LIAR!” at the top of my lungs but knew that it would do me little good. She told me that they had never received a copy of my orders (even though three agents had previously seen that they had) and that I would have to fax them in. I spoke in a low, clear, tone - much like you would use to explain to a child that their course of action is going to get them into trouble - and told her that faxing another copy was not an option. First, I had previously faxed a copy of the orders. Second, no fax machine is available in this country so I had no method of delivery. I knew this would have been a foolish choice as I would have been forced to fax it, call back and confirm it was received, and then call to cancel on yet another day. They were trying to delay the inevitable. Third, I told her that previous agents had confirmed the receipt of the original fax and that there was no possible way I would resend the information. Four, I had far better things to do than to waste my valuable phone time talking to customer service on an issue I had already called about 7 times.

She placed me on hold.

She came back 10 minutes later and asked if I would like to transfer the line to another family member. I declined.

She asked if I would like to suspend the service in lieu of cancellation. I declined.

She placed me on hold for another 5 minutes.

When she returned she sounded as if she had beaten, she told me that she would cancel the line without a termination fee and that I would owe no more to the company.

She asked if there was anything else she could do. Instead of really laying into the lady for blatantly lying to me I decided to take the high road - she wasn’t prepared for what was about to ensue - it would have been ugly. So, I declined.

I have never had great experience with cell phone contracts - each time I’ve tried to discontinue a service it felt like pulling teeth. Even though I pay more up front to start service without a contract, I think it may be the best option in the future.

I will NEVER use Nextel or Sprint again. Their horrendous customer service practices sour their otherwise adequate cell phone service.

The back story: I called Nextel before I deployed in order to cancel my service - things didn’t go as planned even though they assured me that everything was fine. Jessica notified me that Nextel had sent me a bill in February - I was obviously annoyed so I sent them an email - they ignored my email so I was forced to call them. I called them and things didn’t go as I hoped - read on -

I called Nextel while I was at work today in an effort to get rid of the erroneous charge and cancel my line. I talked to a gentleman in customer service who looked up my account and saw the previous phone conversations where I had requested cancellation of the service, discussed faxing a copy of my orders, called to verify that they had received all of the information required, and checked up to make sure that it was everything was going to be processed. He asked for a phone number so he could call back should we be disconnected - I told him that I was in Iraq - he was instantly nicer to me. He told me that he would see what he could do and asked to place me on hold - I obliged his request. A few minutes later, he told me that he had canceled the charge. He was unsure as to why there was a disconnect within his system because the account SHOULD have been canceled on the billing cycle ending in January. The customer service representative was helpful and polite throughout our conversation - all phone calls to customer service should be modeled on our interaction. Unfortunately, my interaction with Nextel was about to careen of a steep cliff - he told me that I would have to talk to cancellations yet again.
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I know that for the 2 readers of my blog you’ve been wondering where in the heck have I been for the last week or two? Well, I haven’t gone anywhere but I’ve been busy doing other things. If you didn’t catch the other post, I spent a week with my sister when she came out for a visit. We did some of the tourist type stuff but after that we ended up just sitting around my apartment and really just hanging out. Its been a long time since we’ve done that and it was really cool to get a chance to hang out with her for more than a day at a time. Her visit got me thinking about some of the other family members that I rarely see. Its a shame that I don’t have the time to get out and visit more of you but thats just a hazard of my job. Oh well, thats why they invented phones and email.

I’ve spent most of this week working at the Tyarget (Target). For the most part, its an extremely boring job where I get little to no job satisfaction. Once in a great while does something interesting happen (we catch someone stealing, a fight breaks out, etc) While I’m waiting for something to happen I get the wonderful opportunity to stare out the front door and wait wait wait. I really want them to transfer me to the Tacoma store as its only a few minutes away and I’m not looking forward to paying the $4.00 a gallon that gas is speculated to soon cost to drive all the way down to Lakewood. Its not that I don’t like the people there, I just don’t like the drive and what I do there. Wow, its much like the Air Force… I loath my daily job but the people keep me interested. One day I hope I’ll get approved for that holy grail of a job. Speaking of jobs, I’m off to part 1 of my physical today…. this should be interesting. I was originally scheduled to return from leave Friday to go see the doc but as I expected they called me and moved it a day forward. Luckily, I left one day open in my schedule to prepare for the inevitability of military scheduling… oh what a joy it is.

For those of you reading between the lines: yes, I’m dating a girl and she is great.

Thats all she wrote until later

Try a few of these methods as a sure fire way to get fired… I didnt come up with them, I’m not that creative. Read the full list here.

The Hasselhoff
Explain that where you come from, a Speedo and an unbuttoned shirt is considered “business casual.”

The Fredo
Arrive at work early and hide under your boss’ desk. When the boss arrives, do nothing but hide for the first three hours. Then roll up his pants so slowly he doesn’t notice. Then lick his shin. After he finishes freaking out and asks you what the hell you’re doing, tell him that he’s crazy, and that you have no idea what he’s talking about. Do the “screws loose” gesture with your hands, and then kiss him on the mouth and say, “You broke my heart.”

The Moviefone Guy
If you’re working as an operator for 911, answer all your calls in the Moviefone guy voice. “Hello, and thank you for calling 911. What is your emergency? For murder, press one. For a house fire press two. For car accident press three. For all other emergencies, press 5.” Then transfer them to Moviefone.

The Halloween Boss
On Halloween, come in piss drunk and dressed like your boss (doesn’t matter man or woman). Walk around the office slurring your words and repeatedly insist, “I am the boss! Look at me!” Be sure to piss yourself and fire anyone who crosses you.

The Ma Fratelli
Take whatever money you have in your pocket and make B&W copies of the bills on the office copy machine while laughing manically and repeating, “It’s too fucking easy”

The Worm
Store live bait in the refrigerator with a price tag. When confronted, ask how much they want. Then when they insist you remove it, deny having put it there, and get angry at the implication.

The Auctioneer
Sell office items on ebay. “Hey Mr. Jones, I need your chair. Some guy in Boston bought it for 85 bucks… You believe that? Don’t worry; I’ll cut you in. How’s 80/20 sound? It’s only fair since I did the all work.”